trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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