Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
