i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
