Just took my morning after pill in the library
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
