cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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