Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
