He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
