The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
