In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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