Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
