My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
