I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
