Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
