the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
