He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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