She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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