Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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