I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
