so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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