break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
