she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think pants incapable of making pants work
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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