im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
