i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
