how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she smelled like a LAN party
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
