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ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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