I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
