So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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