Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This is not my ceiling
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
