We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize