Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
