and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
