she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
