You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
