watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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