walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
