but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
