There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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