Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize