I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
