Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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