he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
