If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
