yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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