I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
