Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
