i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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