i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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