God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i've created a new STD.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I could fuck to npr.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
