I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
