I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think I am morally bankrupt
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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