you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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